How to Find the Theme of Your Story
Writers ask "what is my theme?" as if the answer lives somewhere outside the draft. It never does. If you have written scenes, you have a theme already. You just have not caught yourself arguing it yet.
Theme is an argument, and your scenes are the evidence
Lajos Egri called it the premise: every lasting story proves something. "Great love defies even death." "Ruthless ambition destroys itself." The important word is proves. A theme is a claim your story tests through action, scene after scene, with the ending as the verdict.
So the way to find yours is to read your draft like a lawyer reviewing a case you accidentally built. Look at your protagonist's three biggest decisions. What did each one cost? What did the story reward, and what did it punish? Your draft has been keeping score this whole time. The theme is whatever the scoreboard says.
A practical exercise
Take your climax, whatever you have of it, even in outline. Write one sentence: "In the end, the character chose ____ over ____, and the result was ____." Now check your opening chapters. Somewhere early, your character faced a smaller version of that same choice and picked the other side. If that mirror exists, you have found your theme, and it was there before you knew its name. If it does not exist yet, you have found next week's revision.
The mistake to avoid
Do not bolt on a theme from outside. A theme imposed on a story reads like a lecture. A theme discovered inside one reads like truth. Your job is excavation, then sharpening. Once you can say what your story argues, every scene gains a job: it either builds the case or it goes.